Here’s what people are saying about

Shades of Gray: A Mother’s Guide to Work and Family Choices…

Labor Studies, Pennsylvania State University

As a professional coach who empowers clients to live fulfilled lives and make choices in line with their values, Shades of Gray is a fantastic resource for mothers...all women (and men). It challenges you to look beneath the surface and inward, to what really matters. Easy to pick up for 5 minutes and find a gem to ponder; or dig in for an hour.
►Martha Mumma, MA, PCC
President, Minnesota Coaches Association

Lynn draws upon more than 200 interviews with women who work outside the home full-time, stay home full-time, work for pay from home, work part-time, or telecommuting to showcase real-life stories and illustrative examples of how there are a myriad of ways to balance the demands of the workplace and the home, professional responsibilities with domestic obligations. There is no one "right way". But there are a variety of "right ways" that are applicable and advantageous to a woman regardless of her particular situation -- it's just a matter of figuring it out, and Shades Of Gray is the highly recommended "how-to" manual for just that.

Whether the situation is a recently delivered or adopted child; a possible promotion or aspiring to a more demanding job; considering a return to work after an extended absence in order to be with the family; thinking through the pros and cons of temporarily downsizing a job or transferring to a part-time position; or having children who no longer are in need of after-school care, begin your plans, decision making, and preparations with reading through Lynn Hennighausen's Shades Of Gray!

She'd left a successful career in occupational medicine to be a stay-at-home mom, and Lynn Hennighausen was a bit miserable.

Living in Minnesota and the mother of a 2-year-old, Hennighausen felt isolated and missed the regular feedback she'd enjoyed at her job. "Maybe your children are different, but I don't usually hear mine say, `Wow, Mom -- thanks for emptying the dishwasher,' " she writes.

Her solution: Do some research. A lot of research, actually. She interviewed some 200 mothers about work and family issues. And she concluded that many wrestle with the same issues -- maintaining your sense of self when you leave the workplace, living up to society's expectations of mothers and negotiating a collaboration with your partner.

Hennighausen now has three children and lives in Davidson. She also has a new book -- published just in time for Mother's Day. "Shades of Gray: A Mother's Guide to Work and Family Choices" ($14.95, Beaver's Pond Press) offers a system to help mothers discover the work-family choices that best suit them.

As they strive to find a work-family balance, today's mothers are writing history, Hennighausen says. "We're so fortunate to have the choices we have, but it makes it much more difficult to make the choices you make."

And today's mothers have to keep making choices. Men typically begin a full-time career just after college and continue working until retirement, she says. A woman may quit work when she has a child, then return to a part-time job when her kids hit school age, then consider full-time work again when her children are older.

The book offers stories from real mothers trying to find the right balance. Throughout, Hennighausen also presents questions for the reader to consider: What material things are you and your partner willing to give up so that one of you might stay home with your children? What sacrifices have you made to strike your work/life balance?

One thing her book doesn't do is advocate a single solution. "I have tried to take my bias out of the picture," Hennighausen says. "You make the best decisions for you, I'll make the best decision for me, and let's support each other."

Hennighausen's book is available in local bookstores and can be ordered from her Web site, http://www.workandfamilychoices.com/.

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Pam Kelley: (704) 358-5271; pkelley@charlotteobserver.com

Helping moms: Lynn (Burke) Hennighausen, a 1980 graduate of St. Joseph Academy, Green Bay, has written "Shades of Gray: A Mother’s Guide to Work and Family Choices." Rich with personal stories that bring to life the varied challenges and opportunities faced in today’s world of work and family, this book invites readers to think in new ways about creating a life that brings out the best in everyone.

The author identified seven universal work/family issues after she interviewed 200 women about their work and life choices. In "Shades of Gray," she explains the options mothers face today.

Henninghausen is the mother of three. She is president of A Balancing Act, Inc. and works out of her North Carolina home as a writer and speaker. She has a master’s degree and worked in the health/wellness field for 10 years before leaving to raise her family.

For more information or to order copies, contact hennighausen at (704) 906-3736 or visit her Web site at www.workandfamilychoices.com.

Please send information to Jean Peerenboom, Green Bay-Press Gazette, P.O. Box 23430, Green Bay, WI 54305-3430, call her at (920) 431-8219.

Source=Green_Bay_Press_Gazette; Date=07.04.2002; Section=Thats_Life; Page=D6; Id=2002040911498344;

The good news is also the bad news: today's moms have many career and family options.

Finally the dilemma of how to juggle it all is solved! This book is a resource you'll return to again and again to chart the best course for you and your family.

►Ginita Wall, CPA, CFP
Women's Institute for Financial Education (www.WIFE.org)

Lynn Hennighausen has done a terrific job of capturing the questions women struggle with when trying to balance the demands of work and family. The format of the guide encourages the reader to be intentional about her choices and provides a variety of illustrative stories, many of which underscore the value of creating time for family. In time, perhaps more couples will approach these important decisions as true partners and share in the joy of creating time to raise children.

►Jessica DeGroot
Founder and President
ThirdPath Institute

Mothers everywhere should thank Lynn Hennighausen for this honest, encouraging and practical book.  Rich with personal stories that bring to life the varied challenges and opportunities we face in today’s world of work and family, this book invites us to think in new ways about creating a life that brings out the best in us and the people we love.  Not one to settle for “either-or” solutions to the classic work-family dilemma, Hennighausen shines light on the various “Shades of Gray” more and more women seek.  She cites good research to back up her work, offers helpful resources to keep us learning, and asks just the right questions to get us thinking about (and acting upon) the possibilities in our own lives.  And best of all, by the end of the book, I felt like I’d stepped into a circle of women who were kindred spirits—including, most certainly, the author herself.

►Martha Farrell Erickson, Ph.D.,
Director, Children, Youth & Family Consortium

With Shades of Gray, Lynn Hennighausen calls a cease-fire in the battle between at-home moms and mothers who are employed. Hennighausen has walked on both sides of that dividing line, and she gives all mothers -- and, indeed, all women -- permission to quit blaming each other for the choices they have to make.

Like its author, this book is generous, forgiving and wise. Hennighausen urges women to focus their energies where they can really make a difference: in themselves (her chapter on self-care is essential reading), in their families (her call for spousal support is commendable), and in their communities and places of work. She demonstrates the benefits of integration by interviewing women who refuse to define themselves by a single role. In the process, Hennighausen reminds all of us to remember that life is only successful when we define "success" for ourselves. It's a message men need to hear as well.

►Amy Gage
Minneapolis St. Paul Magazine, Senior Editor
Twin Cities Business Monthly, Contributing Editor